Arthur, the Unicorn
by wolf with panther eyes
Summary: AU ending for episode 1x11, contains spoilers. Anhora hasn't found the right spell yet, and so Arthur has to suffer total humiliation. Crack!fic one-shot.


I was reading through some old forum topics from the 'Keep the Magic Secret' forum, and found an old comment I made about what could happen in The Labyrinth of Geldof.

_Still think Arthur was rather stupid for killing the unicorn, though... Morgana & Gwen aren't gonna be happy about that (unicorns are meant to be attracted to young maidens, and vice versa)._

_And as for Arthur drinking the wrong goblet - it can't be poisoned, surely? The writers wouldn't repeat the same trick twice in the same season. Maybe it turns Arthur into a unicorn to make up for him killing one? _

So, anyway, I decided to write this. Please enjoy, and leave a review.

* * *

"I can't believe this," Arthur said yet again, breaking the silence.

Merlin sighed. "You've told me about fifty times, Arthur." He shifted his shoulders, trying to make his burden easier to carry. "Arthur, you know how horses usually carry things, well, maybe…"

"No," Arthur said bluntly.

"So you're just going to make me carry all this, then?" Merlin complained.

"Yes."

They continued without speaking for a while, the silence broken only by Merlin's footprints and slightly louder hoof prints.

"So," Merlin finally said. "How are we going to explain this to Uther?"

"I'll just talk to him," Arthur responded.

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Yep, that'll work."

Arthur stopped, rounding on his servant. "Look, I didn't want to kill that unicorn. My knights just expected it of me."

"Yeah, right," Merlin muttered, remembering the grin on Arthur's face after he shot the unicorn.

Arthur hesitated. "Alright, maybe I _did_, a little. But I sure wouldn't have if I'd known about this godforsaken curse!"

"The one on Camelot, or the one on you now?" Merlin asked.

"Both!"

"Well, can't do anything about that now," Merlin shrugged, stepping to one side and walking around the prince.

Arthur groaned. "Merlin, do we have to go back now?"

Merlin smirked at his master and friend. "Of course we do. Anhora did say that it could be a while before he finds the spell to bring the unicorn back to life, so no point hanging around. Besides, I'm looking forward to seeing the look on Morgana's face when she realises who you are."

Arthur rubbed his horn against a nearby tree. "It itches," he explained, swinging his head around to face Merlin and blinking his large eyes - eyes that were the same shade of blue as his human eyes normally were.

Merlin patted Arthur's neck, grinning as the prince flinched. "Put it this way; would you rather be a dead person, or an alive unicorn?"

"At the moment, probably a dead person," Arthur replied, striking the path with his right front hoof.

"Well, you're an alive unicorn, not much we can do about that until Anhora finds that spell. Let's keep going."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Arthur's horn banged against the door as Merlin helped guide him into the hall. "Ouch," the prince muttered.

"What is the meaning of this?" Uther asked coldly, standing up.

"Well, err…" Merlin looked to Arthur for help.

"Remember how Camelot ran out of water and food?" Arthur said, his horsy lips moving to form human words. "Well, that was my fault, because I killed that unicorn. There's this guy named Anhora who's the 'Keeper of Unicorns', and he gave me several tests to do in order for the curse to be lifted." Arthur paused, his gaze swivelling around the room.

Uther had sat down, his jaw open as he stared at the unicorn that was speaking with Arthur's voice. Morgana looked like she was struggling not to laugh, and Gwen's eyes were as round as the full moon.

Arthur continued. "Anyway, the last test was meant to show if I was pure of heart or not. Merlin and I were given two goblets with liquid in them. One of them had normal water, the other a deadly poison. I drank both before Merlin could, and I, umm, turned into a unicorn instead of dying."

Morgana quickly placed one hand over her mouth, but her laughter had already been heard. Arthur glared at her, and she laughed harder.

Uther stood up hesitantly. "Arthur?" the King said huskily. "Is that really you?"

Arthur nodded, the movement odd on the unicorn.

Suddenly, Anhora appeared in the hall. "Ah, greetings," the keeper of the unicorns announced. "Arthur, you will be relieved to know that I have found the right spell at last."

If Arthur had been human, he would have punched the air. Instead, Arthur pawed the stone floor and tossed his mane excitedly. "Really?"

Morgana leaned on Gwen, tears forming in her pale eyes as she started crying with laughter.

Anhora strode over to Arthur and held his palm to the prince's mouth, palm side up. Merlin caught a glimpse of a white powder before Anhora commanded simply "Eat."

Arthur eagerly snuffed up the powder. He paused. "Hmm, tastes like sugar."

"It is," Anhora confirmed. "Horses enjoy sugar as a delicacy, but sugar gives a unicorn such ecstasy that any spells said around them triple in effect." He murmured a few words under his breath. "Farewell, Arthur Pendragon." The keeper of unicorns vanished.

If it could, Uther's jaw would be through the floor now.

Arthur shivered slightly as a silvery-lilac light enveloped him, growing in brightness until he was unable to be seen. Then, suddenly, the light evaporated.

Arthur glanced down at his hands - and yes, they were hands now, not hoofs. Arthur grinned happily. "Yes!"

There was a sort of choking noise from where Morgana and Gwen stood. Gwen had turned bright red, her eyes closed firmly, while Morgana had collapsed on the floor in hysterics.

"Ummm… Arthur?" Merlin said hesitantly.

Arthur glanced at his servant. Merlin's cheeks were pink, but he was grinning. "What is it, Merlin?" Arthur asked.

"You're, ah, not wearing any clothes," Merlin explained tactfully. From her position on the floor, Morgana twitched.

Arthur glanced down at himself. "Ah. Right. Merlin, give me your neckerchief."

Merlin had untied it and was handing it to Arthur when Merlin suddenly realised what the prince had in mind. He tried to snatch it back, but the damage was already done.

"That was my _favourite _scarf, too," Merlin muttered gloomily.

**THE END**


End file.
